Fresh ideas for stale bread
Mankind already aware of bread's nutritrional value as we have been eating it for thousands of years. However, many do not know of these alternative uses for a stale loaf of bread.
Pest Control
Besides being a great food, stale bread can be used as a powerful weapon against man's most vicious of pests, birds. Fight back against these winged garden terrorists using a little stale bread. In a matter of mere hours after consumption, the bread will expand inside their tiny intestines and before you you know it ... POP! It's bye bye birdie, hello untouched garden.
Warning birds will not actually explode.
Candle Holder
Have a big dinner you're hosting but you can't seem to find the candle stick holders? No need to fear, stale bread is here for you like a mother's warm embrace just when you needed her the most. Simply dig those candles into the top of a stale loaf of bread and continue on with your big night.
Javelin
Like the ancient merchants of Greece hunting down child thieves and shoplifters, Now you too, can throw like Zeus chucking lighting bolts at atheist lefties by using a stale loaf of bread as your javelin.
A lightweight balling Ball
Look like a superhero by tossing your bowling ball around the lanes with greatest of ease. With the right loaf of stale bread you may even improve your game. Remember if its not in the rules, its not breaking the rules.
Shoes
Did you know that bread is a natural insulator? Keep your feet warm on those cold winter mornings by using your stale loafs of bread to insulate your feet.
Send a message to an unwelcomed house guest
We all have that relative that missed grandma's speech on manners and overstays their welcome. Well now you don't have to forgo sweet grandma's last wishes to get that annoying relative out of the house. Serve your guest stale bread and they will be out of your hair before your next meal.
Desk Organizer
Messy desk? Organzie your work space by keeping your utenlzes in a stale loaf of bread, or make an easily exit with the portable, foldable stale pita
Bait
Bread is irresistible to more than just mankind. Bait is one of the oldest alternative uses for bread. As if it were taking candy from a baby you will almost feel bad for fooling the fish when you start using bread as bait.
A garden gnome
Save some money on garden furniture and dress up your stale loaf of bread as a garden gnome. Trust us, no will know the difference.
Shoe lifts
Get the edge on your oppentents and rivals by adding natures height enhanceers to inside of your shoes. If in a tight squeeze you can even dispose of the evidence!
Doll House
Stale bread makes a wonderful side addition, guest house, or detatched garage to any Barbie dream estate. All it takes is a carving knife, a steady hand, and a little creativity. Barbie's friends will be green with envy when your child adds the stale bread home addition to her collection of toy assets.
Pinata
It's your niece's quinceanera but you forgot to bring a gift. You don't panic however, because you know you have a stale loaf of bread at your disposal. Simply hollow it out, fill it with candy from your local convenient store and now you can give your loved one the gift of a real party. Talk about the best uncle ever!
Food fighting weapon
Take your food fights to the next level and leave your enemies reeling after you give them a stale baguette delivered directly to their dome. People will think twice before ever throwing something at your lunch table again.
Armor
A warrior knows to expect the unexpected on the field of battle. Be prepared for your next food fight by suiting up in stale bread plated armor.
Hand Warmer
When you can't avoid going outside during those harsh winter months, bring a staling loaf of bread with you to keep your hands from icing up. Or attach it to your belt and make a fashion statement that would turn up any hipster eyebrow.
A Football
The old pig skin in the garage has been losing air faster than the Hindenburg. Next time try tossing a loaf of stale bread around the yard, it will teach your young athlete better hands, while saving you money on a new "Duke". After all, they don't call it "catching the ball in the bread basket" for nothing!
Bread Basket
Need a little more irony in your life? Why not use your stale loaf of bread as basket for you new bread and illustrate the circle of life right there on your dinner table!
A Paperweight
As with any compact object that has a decent weight, a loaf of stale bread can make the perfect paperweight for any swamped worker.
Make a work of Art
Show off your creativity by making something beautiful. A stale loaf of bread is the perfect canvas for any skillful carver.
A friend
We all get lonely from time to time. Well now you don't have to sweat it because a stale loaf of bread is a great listener. You can tell stale bread your deepest and darkest secrets without any fear of judgement or rejection what so ever. Bread is among the most accepting out of all the food groups.